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Lexophiles

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  • Lexophiles

    She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

    The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

    Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects

    What happened to the man who tried to force open a wire mesh door by throwing himself at it? He strained himself

    A man who runs behind a car will get exhausted.

    A man who runs in front of a car will get tired

    A man who leaps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion

    A who puts his ear on the track, listening for the train to come, will end up with a splitting headache

    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

    The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

    Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

    The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

    The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

    If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

    Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    A backward poet writes inverse.

    In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

    A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

    If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

    Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

    A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

    You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

    He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    A calendar's days are numbered.

    A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    The scarecrow got an industry award because he was out standing in his field

    To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

  • #2
    Re: Lexophiles

    Thanks Barrie,

    Don't we have a rich and wonderful language?
    View my ebook, The Light Fantastic, at: http://store.blurb.co.uk/ebooks/3026...ight-fantastic

    John

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